


Fall On Me

by lionheartedghost



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Tsunami, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21810973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionheartedghost/pseuds/lionheartedghost
Summary: “You never used to go this way,” Eddie said. “It’s quicker to take a left back on Pine and go along by the ocean.”“This way’s quicker,” Buck said absently. “Cuts out the traffic.”“No it doesn’t.” Eddie looked at him carefully. “It just cuts out the beach.”Written for the promptabuddie prompt, "Eddie helps Buck deal with his fear of water following the tsunami."
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 10
Kudos: 444





	Fall On Me

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from promptabuddie on Tumblr: Eddie helps Buck deal with his fear of water following the tsunami.
> 
> Also posted on Tumblr.

Eddie didn’t notice at first.  
  
He and Buck had started carpooling - call it saving the environment, call it welcome company when they inevitably got stuck in traffic, call it whatever you wanted - and honestly Eddie relished the days when it was Buck’s turn to drive and he could sit back and relax. He’d close his eyes after the particularly long shifts, sink down in the seat in a way that definitely wasn’t good for his spine, and switch off. But maybe that had been the problem. He hadn’t been paying attention, and maybe that was why it was only dawning on him now that something wasn’t quite right.  
  
Eddie opened his eyes and looked lazily out of the window. He’d almost let himself drift off again when he paused, sat up, and took in exactly where they were.  
  
“Why are you going this way?”  
  
“Hm?” Buck took his eyes briefly off the road to glance across at Eddie in the passenger seat. “I always go this way. You never notice because you always fall asleep.”  
  
“You never used to go this way,” Eddie said. “It’s quicker to take a left back on Pine and go along by the ocean.”  
  
“This way’s quicker,” Buck said absently. “Cuts out the traffic.”  
  
“No it doesn’t.” Eddie looked at him carefully. “It just cuts out the beach.”  
  
Buck didn’t answer.  
  
“Buck,” Eddie frowned. “Have you been back to the ocean since the tsunami?”  
  
Buck clenched his jaw. “I don’t know. Probably.”  
  
“You haven’t.”  
  
“So I haven’t had a reason to go.” Buck shrugged. “I don’t even like the beach anyway.”  
  
“You’re avoiding it.”  
  
“I’m not avoiding anything, Eddie. I just haven’t needed to go back there, that’s all.”  
  
“Okay. Then let’s go now.”  
  
Buck raised an eyebrow at him. “We just finished a twenty-four hour shift and you want to go to the beach? Maybe another time.”  
  
“But it’s right there,” Eddie replied evenly. “If you pull over and park on West Avenue we can-”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Buck-”  
  
“I said no, Eddie.”  
  
“Why not? If you’re not avoiding it then why not go now?”  
  
“Because I don’t want to.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Because I don’t!” Buck slammed his foot down on the brake as the traffic lights changed to red; the seatbelt constricted sharply around Eddie’s chest.  
  
The car was quiet for a moment.  
  
“Chris is still scared, too,” Eddie said quietly.  
  
“Chris is eight years old,” Buck replied. “It’s okay for him to still be scared.”  
  
“Buck, you went through something traumatic. You don’t have to be okay. Nobody expects you to be, not after everything you’ve been through.”  
  
“I just…” Buck swallowed. “I’m an adult. I’m a _firefighter_. And I’m scared to go back to the beach. Pathetic, right?”  
  
“It’s not pathetic at all, Buck.”  
  
Buck scoffed.  
  
“Listen. Let’s try it,” Eddie said, his voice soft. “If it’s too much we’ll turn right back around and come back to your truck and go home, but give yourself a chance. Okay? I’m right here with you.”  
  
The lights turned green. Buck eased the car forwards, his fingers tapping nervously against the steering wheel. He glanced at Eddie and chewed hesitantly at his lower lip.  
  
“I can’t,” Buck said, so quietly Eddie almost didn’t hear him.  
  
“Yes you can,” Eddie nudged him lightly with his elbow. “You can do anything.”  
  
Buck’s lips twitched into a brief smile. Before he could think better of it, he pulled the truck over to the side of the road and switched off the engine.  
  
“Okay,” Eddie smiled. “You ready?”  
  
“Just…” Buck took a breath. “I just need a minute.”  
  
“Sure. Take your time. You’ve got this.”  
  
Buck relinquished his grip on the wheel and curled his fingers into the palms of his hands.  
  
“You’re okay,” Eddie said. “Everything’s okay.”  
  
Buck closed his eyes for a moment, exhaling a long, shaky breath. He looked across at Eddie again for a final boost of encouragement, gave a nearly imperceptible nod, and pushed open the door.  
  
Eddie climbed out, watching as Buck reluctantly made his way around the truck to join him on the sidewalk.  
  
“We’ll just go for a walk,” Eddie nodded towards the end of the street. “Nothing major, right?”  
  
“Maybe not to you,” Buck muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets. He stared warily at the ocean in the near distance. “Just to the beach and we can turn back, right? Is that enough to keep you happy?”  
  
“If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do.”  
  
“Great.”  
  
Buck was silent as they made their way forwards, his steps dragging, slow and hesitant. Eddie kept pace with him without comment. With every sidelong glance he could see the look Buck was going for, a kind of aloof disinterest, an irritability at having to appease Eddie more than anything, but Eddie could see through it. He could almost feel the tension coming off Buck in waves, his shoulders tight, the muscles in his arms taut as he no doubt clenched his hands into fists in his pockets. But still, Eddie didn’t comment.  
  
Buck paused as the sidewalk came to an end, the beach and the blue of the ocean looming ahead of them.  
  
“You okay?” Eddie reached out a hand carefully, resting it on Buck’s forearm. He could feel the pulse thrumming beneath Buck’s skin. “Buck?”  
  
Buck kept his gaze fixed on the ocean.  
  
“Hey,” Eddie tried to catch his eye. “You’ve done great. Let’s head back now, alright?”  
  
Buck swallowed. “I... I wanna get closer.”  
  
Eddie blinked slowly at him. “Are you sure? You don’t have to prove yourself to me, Buck.”  
  
Buck glanced at him. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”  
  
“I wanted you to see that everything’s fine. This was never about making you pass out on a street corner.”  
  
“I’m not going to pass out.”  
  
“You sure about that? You’re looking a little pale.”  
  
Buck took a breath and shook off Eddie’s grip on his wrist. Then, with a brief look to the traffic on either side, he crossed the street.  
  
Eddie jogged across the road after him.  
  
Buck carefully followed the boardwalk along until they came to an empty bench with an unobstructed view of the ocean. He sat down, Eddie taking the space beside him.  
  
The waves broke against the shore, sending foam skittering along the sand. People lay stretched out under the sun, wandered hand in hand, laughed and ran in and out of the rushing tide.  
  
Eddie could feel Buck trembling next to him.  
  
“You’re fine,” Eddie murmured. “Everything’s fine.”  
  
“I keep seeing it.” Buck cleared his throat. “The, uh, the wave.”  
  
“I’m not surprised. It was a tsunami, Buck. You don’t just forget something like that.”  
  
“I could see it coming and Chris was right next to me and I knew there wasn’t anything I could do to keep him safe.”  
  
“But you did keep him safe.”  
  
Buck shook his head. “I lost him. Someone else found him.”  
  
“You did everything you could. Okay? I don’t blame you for anything that happened, and neither does he.”  
  
Buck kept his eyes fixed on the horizon. “I keep dreaming about it. I can’t drive my usual way home because just being on this road makes me feel like I’m gonna throw up. I... sometimes I think I can still taste the seawater and I can’t breathe and I... I can’t...”  
  
“Come here.” Eddie took Buck’s hand and pressed it to his chest, keeping his own hand over it. “You feel that?”  
  
Buck raised his eyebrows tiredly. “My heartbeat?”  
  
“Your heartbeat,” Eddie repeated. “You’re alive, Buck. You’re okay. You’ve been through hell and things are still tough, but you’re alive, and you’re not alone. I’m right here.”  
  
Buck’s shoulders slumped. He leaned wearily against Eddie’s side as if he were the only thing keeping Buck upright; Eddie shifted in his seat to let him.  
  
“Come get Chris from Abuela’s with me,” Eddie knocked his knee against Buck’s. “We’ll go for dinner. He’s been asking me all week when he’s gonna get to see his Buck again.”  
  
Buck smiled. “I was over last week.”  
  
“Yeah, but that was _years_ ago, as far as he’s concerned.”  
  
Buck hummed a laugh.  
  
“Is that a yes?”  
  
“Yeah,” Buck said. “I just... could we... stay here a little bit longer?”  
  
“It doesn’t scare you?”  
  
“No, it does,” Buck admitted. “But it’s like... I can do it if you’re with me.”  
  
“Sure,” Eddie said gently. “We’ll stay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it, kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> If you have a prompt you'd like to send me, you can leave them in the comments below or over [here](http://lionheartedghost.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr!


End file.
